You be you. Just be a great dad.
One misconception people have about my work – and that of other fatherhood advocates – is that I am against traditional family structure and against traditional fatherhood roles. Or, rather, that I think all dads should adopt newer, more hands-on and egalitarian roles.
All I really advocate for is having conversations with the important people in your life, and figuring out how you can best be a great dad and be true to yourself. This should determine our path. (Our first job is to take care of our families, but it’s also our lives we’re talking about, so we get to have a say). If it makes the most sense for you to climb the corporate ladder while your spouse does the primary parenting — then great! If it makes the most sense to share the load at work and at home — then great! If it makes the most sense to stay at home while your spouse earns the money — then great!
But there is one traditional aspect I do push back against. There’s a notion that to be manly, one has to hew to traditional roles of fatherhood and masculinity. The fact is there are so many ways to be a great man and a great dad. We should follow our own paths. And we should allow others to do so without judgment or stigma.
Ultimately, we are all on the same side. Together, we are raising the next generation. We all do it differently- and that’s a good thing. Let’s stop judging others.
What role do you see for yourself? let’s discuss in the comments.
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